So many and yet so little to say.

It's finally summer over here, and I am enjoying my last summer vacation in my teenage existence. Why? First of all, next summer break for me will not be a break at all--it will be filled to the brim with hospital duty. Secondly, this is my last year--in fact, my last few days--as a teenager. Good God. The big two-zero.

So, I've been spending my days doing the usual: watching T.V., going online, playing my various video games, spending time with friends and family, going clubbing, et cetera. Haven't written or read anything new yet, so that's on my to-do list, as well as to go swimming. Hopefully by next week.

I have no romance in my life, but hey, is that really surprising?

Okay, moving on from my temporary pity-fest.

God, this coffee's potent. Harhar.

I'm hormonally-charged and caffeine-drugged. I can't believe this.

When the fuck will you finally tell me that you like me?

When the hell willl I finally be desirable enough?

I miss photoshop.

I miss flirting. (Though I just did two days ago with some random singer whose name I don't even know. Too bad; I wasn't even really there to watch his show.)

The sound of my keyboard as I patter away on the keys is somehow hypnotic. I could listen to this sound for forever. Haha.

I'll stop writing now, as I have nothing relevant or interesting to say.

I want to go swimming.

I want new makeup from Marks and Spencer.

Okay, stop.

Just came from a party last night. It was fun. After my stress-ridden week and totally catastrophic Friday, I was glad that at least Saturday was enjoyable. I got to meet up with some of my high school friends again. It's always great to see them.

There were a few undesirable incidents that happened that night, but otherwise, it was still fun.

I met someone new, but then, my friend likes him as well (and she liked him first), so there's not much I can do there. Might as well give up on him already (romantically anyway). And I'm probably not going to see him again anyway, since he's from another university and our courses are two entirely different worlds. Too bad. We had our moments. I knew he kind of liked me. (That groan when I joked about porn starring me was a givaway.) Oh, well. That's life. Besides, I already have a guy (codename SB) in my horizon.  (Sour grapes? Only half. )

And there was this guy--former acquaintance--who was unmistakably cute, but far too wholesome for me. (Sour grapes? Yes. Totally.)

Valentines' Day blues are rapidly approaching. What to do, oh, what to do?

In my mind, I can't believe it's true,

But in my heart, the reality is you.

I have lots to do. It's prelims week.

CHN requirements.

Pediatrics quiz.

Nutrition and English preliminary exams.

Wah.

I don't like OAV's.

I really should be finishing my Nutrition project right now, but it's been a while since I've documented my thoughts, and so, I think that I should take this opportunity to do so once again. I've always been thinking and starting prospective entries in my head, but I've never had the time to finish them.

Life, as of late, has been a whirlwind of activity. Once again it has succumbed into the routine of sleep, wake up, go to school, study, eat, go on hospital rounds, go home, eat, study some more, sleep. My weekends have also been full as of late, occupied with various school activities. Suffice it to say, I haven't had a decent day's rest for a month. Save yesterday, which I dedicated to watching TV--which, in all honesty, I meant to dedicate to all the things I have to accomplish for tomorrow. Now, I wonder if I'd made the right decision by procrastinating yesterday and piling up all my work for today.

Well, all I can say is that hey, I need the damn break too.

In all honesty, I am tired.

All that's keeping me sane right now are my friends, the rare parties that I actually get to attend, and, of course, Ranma 1/2. I need a break from real life too! Thanks, Joemel, for giving me such a wonderful Christmas present. I try to watch it as often as I can because first of all, it's been a while since I've enjoyed an anime series. Second, as I've mentioned, I need a break from real life!

In light of that, and in an entirely different light altogether, I've been thinking . . . What stage am I in Erick Erickson's 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development? Most adolescents and young adults at this age are either at Role Identity vs. Role Confusion, or at Intimacy vs. Isolation, or both. In my case, I've given this much thought. I'm definitely no longer in the Role Identity vs. Role Confusion Stage; in fact, I've probably left it several years ago. I'm sure of what I want in life, sure of where I'm going, sure of my goals and ambitions, and pretty much sure of my resources and strengths, as well as my weaknesses. Of course, the questions come once in a while, but they don't plague me as much as they do other people. The next stage then, in the proper order of things, would be Intimacy vs. Isolation. And, I suppose that it's really where I am. While I don't find myself actively searching for a boyfriend, a fiance, and most definitely not a spouse, I suppose that I have to acknowledge the part of me that is searching. While I have no prospects as of late, and I'm perfectly happy being single, I have to acknowledge that at some point, I'll be unhappy being single. I ask myself, what will I do when that time comes?

Oh, well. Better to cross that bridge when it comes.

As of now, I'm happy being single and free.

Question is, when will I start being unhappy?

Hopefully, not anytime soon.

I wonder, what with Valentine's Day just round the corner . . .