Alright, so I have now come to the conclusion that I have the college-freshman version of “senioritis,” which is to say that, like a high school senior longing for college to come, I am tired, depressed, barely alive . . . and simply holding on for the sake of holding on, just dreaming with hope slivered with depression of the days of summer and consequently, my sophomore year of college.

That is, to say it simply . . . I’m tired of first year. I’m dying; I’m barely holding on; and, I want to just jump into summer and into sophomore year. Not that second year will be any easier. Au contraire! It will be positively more difficult. But I find that I’m weary, and I wish that it was all just over and done with.

I have been noticing that lately, I’ve dreamed of simply shirking everything I have on my to-do list and just relaxing. But I know that I can’t do that. My entry into second year depends on my input today, and I can’t—and don’t want to—relinquish my slot in BSN batch 2009. This is my life, and I refuse to let go of it because of irresponsibility. But still . . . what I’d give for a break.

I have a lot to research on tonight, and I have a debate tomorrow. I am abysmal at debating, so only God knows from what corner of the old, decrepit world you’ll find me after my fall from grace.

Sigh. So tired.

I guess I will just [hypothetically] sing a song to cheer me up.

There is freedom within.
There is freedom without.
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup. . . .
There’s a battle ahead . . .
Many battles are lost . . .
But you’ll never see the end of the road while you’re traveling with me.

Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over.
Hey now, hey now, when the world comes in,
They come; they come to build a war between us
You know they won’t win.
--Excerpt from Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House

Well, since I can’t have that freedom without, I’ll strive for that freedom within. God, that’s how I feel now . . . trying to catch a deluge with a paper cup . . . preparing for battles, having lost many . . . but the road goes ever on and on.

And the world comes inundating my own world . . . I can’t let the world win. I am a conqueror, after all. Veni, vidi, vici. I came; I saw; I conquered. I’ve conquered many battles, despite having lost many, and I will conquer this battle of lethargy, laziness, and weariness.

And that is that. Have a happy day.

Oh, and snaps to you if you can find the hidden Lord of the Rings quote.